Just not my day...

Well I managed to allow the bad day to get even worse. I'm going to tell you the end of this story and then we are going to "Tarantino" it, and I'm going to go backwards and tell you how it got to that point. And yes, I know that was from Dane Cook.
So here we are, I just got off the phone with my lovely girlfriend whose birthday was today and whom I did not get to see or spend any time with on this her special day. The reason you ask? I had to play which is not a big deal because it is what I do, what I love, and what she wants me to be doing aswell. So, she has been crying. Why? Because, I have had a bad day. Not because I was mean and I took it out on her, but just because she loves me and genuinely didn't like me having a bad day. When one of us is in a crappy mood, both of us sort of tend to get that way. I feel as though I know too, that she was upset and just sad in general because not only could I not be there, but I couldn't even be happy with her all day on this her special day. No, this was not selfish of her, so don't think that. It was her day.
So, now we are going to go back and figure out how all of this came to be. We will have to start on Thursday, because that is the day that I noticed that my voice was getting weak and that I might have the makings of a sinus infection inside of me. So, knowing that I have to play for the next week and a half, I go to the doctor, get a shot and some medicine like I have many times before. I feel much better that afternoon. The next day it starts going down hill and has only gotten worse since then. The past two days I have been doing everything in the book just in order to make my voice strong enough to get by for about twenty minutes worth of singing. I have sucked on REAL lemons, not went without a honey-lemon cough drop in my mouth for more than 15 or so minutes, gargled with honey and lemon juice, gargled with warm salt water, used some sort of Zinc spray, taken anti-biotics and some other doctor prescribed medicine, and used chloraseptic just to numb the pain. I don't know what else to do. I've tried everything that I know. It just keeps getting worse.
This wouldn't be as big of a deal if we didn't have to play this Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Yes, that is all week long. I feel as though I have an obligation to the people that we are to play for and to my bandmates. You see, if one of them were to get sick, then we could struggle through it and play without them; however, if I am out, then we can not play. I know that my voice and body need rest, but I don't know when I have time to give it to them.
I woke up today and tried to take it as easy as possible, except for the times that I would cough and feel as though one of my vocal chords might just come up. I'm feeling bad about not being able to be with Molly on her birthday and not being able to get her anything that would even let her know that I'm thinking about her. On top of all that, I am feeling bad about not being able to do my job to its fullest potential. My body is tired from coughing and snotting and I'm just worn down. On the way to the place we were to play, I continue to just feel bad about everything and hope that somehow it will all turn out ok. We get there and things seem to be cool and everything is going allright. Well, yesterday, I put new strings on my guitar and keep in mind these strings have been on there for a long time. In sound check tonight, I broke the G string. This equals upsetting. I change the string and finish sound check, I'm thinking and praying..."God just get me through this please."
The time has come to play. I'm nervous and scared. The kids seemed pretty cool and I am thinking that they will help out some. Well, I wasn't exactly correct. They were ok. We were going to do about a four song set, then come back up for one more, then a break, then one more. Well, I'm struggling through the songs (singing) and it's going ok. Well, on the third song, I break the SAME STRING AGAING! This equals frustration. Oh and not to mention, for some reason, my amp kept cutting in and out, and it never does that. So at this point, I'm looking for another string after I have cut the set short, prayed and gotten Brandon to come up and speak and went to the back to change my string. I get up to go to the bathroom and blow my nose and hack up my vocal chords. At this point, I'm so frustrated and begging God to make this stop and asking why this is happening. We get back up and struggle through one more song and then we are through. On the way, home I am just feeling weak and pathetic in general, all of the negativity of today's events seem to be escalating.
I try to call Molly on the way home and she is eating so I decide to wait until I get home to try again. When I try again, she is busy trying on clothes with her mom, and she is going to call me back...no big deal. When she called back, I was talking to my dad. When I called her back, I was kinda down and told her how my day had been so bad. This in turn, brought her day down. When I had talked to her today I had just talked about how bad my day was and me having a bad day on her birthday made her have a bad day. Well she called me back about ten minutes later and I could tell something wasn't right. I finally figured out that she was down and not happy because I wasn't. This, this made me feel the worst of all. After all that had happened, I managed to bring down the one I love on her special day. How could I be so selfish as to do this? Couldn't I have just left my negativity and bad day alone for just a little while? Why did I have to dump it on her?
To make a long story short, it's been a long and not so good day. I don't know what I'm going to do about my voice. My dad told me that I wasn't superman and that I might need to accept the fact that we may have to cancel a few gigs in order for me to get better. I didn't like that. I know that I gave this entire situation to God earlier today but I know that I picked it up and took it away from Him. I have to give it back if I want to see it get better. I feel really mean and selfish for taking anything away from Molly on her birthday. I wanted nothing more than to be with her and make her happy today, and I even fell short on that. Molly, if you read this, I'm sorry baby and I will make it up to you. I hope you liked your song, even if it was a butchered up version. God please, make all of this better...
See you in the clouds... I hope I can still fly...