"As soon as you're outta college you're outta here. I'll prolly give you a week or two you know, but I have to make you wake up and put you out there in the real world. I can get some slobby student to do this job. I ain't gonna keep you around here after you graduate." These are the words that came from my supervisor as my heart fell to the ground as though it were totally engulfed in kryptonite. Holy crap, what am I going to do now?
As if this were not enough, I'm having loads of trouble out of financial aid and my student loans that will probably someday just be there to piss me off. It's amazing to me how you can call this person that tells you to call that person and then you wind up talking to a freaking foreigner that can barely speak your language (English) and you can't understand anything that the fool is saying. School is kicking my butt. It's not the fact that it is hard, because right now it's not because I'm not in it - it's summertime. I don't know what I'm going to about school. I'm pretty sure that I have enough hours to change to General Studies with business concentration and graduate but is that what I really want? I know that I don't want to be at ULM any longer than I have to be. I know that I am totally burnt out on school. I'm sick of it. I really want to chase my dreams but is chasing my dreams selling me short of a career and a good education? These are questions that I do not know the answer to. I have came to the realization that no one reads this anyway, so I guess the only person that I am talking to is You. I know that You have all of the answers but I can't even seem to get one. Do you think that I could borrow at least one? Frustration becomes me.
I know that it will all work out eventually and that You will provide for me and for my ministry and for my family. Right now, it just seems so grim and bleek. I'm scared and I'm not sure what to do. Some direction would be more than nice.
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1 comment:
i read it too :)
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