Bright Lights...

"Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone,
Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world.
And maybe, maybe maybe, you'll find something
That's enough to keep you, but if the bright lights dont' recieve you,
You can turn yourself around and come on home
Turn yourself around girl, come on home."
...Matchbox Twenty

Well, last night the first of possibly many conversations came of college and things to come. She admitted very honestly that she is not very keen on speaking of the future anymore because it makes her feel older than what she is. True, this is completely understandable and and expected. I shouldn't be surprised. It just used to make her so happy when she would talk about. It may be a little harder for me not talk about some of these things because I am older and I do think about these things because it is all around me. My friends are getting married and having kids and I know that is not in our future any time soon. I am ok with this because I'm not ready to get married or have kids anytime soon. So why am I even typing this? I'm realy not sure. I know that I love her and she loves me and that neither of us are going anywhere any time soon.
The truth of the matter is that recently I have had to fight my emotions coming from my heart and from my head. These changes in her thoughts and feelings are to be expected and I am fine with them. However, honestly, they do stir a fear in me. So many times before I have seen people change and people's hearts get broken by that change because they refuse to change together and work together. My head is telling me to run at super speed as fast as I possibly can from this relationship and to salvage what I can of my heart afterwards. However, my heart is arguing much louder and stronger. It continually reminds me that God is the one that put us together and only He could take us apart. We couldn't even do it on our own. It reminds of me of star lit skies and moon lit lakes and a first kiss that will magically live forever. My heart will win this battle and I will not run or fly or anything of the sort. I will stand by her and fight for her continually and pray for her and encourage her and love her. Why you ask? Why will I not try and save my own feelings from possible destruction? God placed me with her and put a burning passion in my heart for her, and it is not going to die. I would die for her and I would sacrifice practically anything for her. That is the way that it should be; it tells us this in the Bible.
So, princess, I will fight for you and save you and hold you to the best of my ability. I know in my heart that you will always do the same. Smile. See you in the clouds...