My prayer...

Could someone please explain to me how it is that someone called to so great of a task can fall so susceptible to the powers of this world. Should we not be above all of these petty powers of Satan and his demons? I mean really. I just can not seem to understand my own weakness. It is mine, should I not understand where it comes from. Over and over again I literally beg Christ to take it away. And of course just as with Paul, he says, My strength is made perfect in your weakness. I understand this but yet I do not.
I wish I knew why I continually turned to a sin that at one time I was so far above. It very literally infuriates me to think that I again and again fall to the same temptation of my old self. What is it in me that has allowed my old self to come back to life? It is so far beyond me that I almost just do not want to think about it sometimes and just write it off.
At times I simply want to forget about all of it and just live my life what would be called normally. However, I know that I can not do this. I have been called to a mission so much bigger than myself. I have been called to be The Last Son and The Last Hope of this a dying generation. Why is it that a part of me continues to try and rebel that wonderful gift, that amazing power from on high that knows no boundary. I am a warrior. I am a commander in the army of GOD. When will I truly embrace my role?
Satan feels as though he has me exactly where he wants me. If I were to be one hundred percent true to myself, I would admit that he really does have an edge over me. The reason for this is, I will not let Christ fight my battles. I am set and determined to fight them on my own. I am so hard headed that I push myself away from the Father more and more everyday with my own selfish desires to be powerful and a mighty warrior. I fail to take into consideration that I receive all of my power and strength from Him and Him alone.
Father, allow me to worship You. Help me to live my life as a living sacrifice for You. I need your help and your guidance. I need your strength. Defeat my enemies for me and allow me to stand at your side in the battle. Place my armor on me and tell me which battles to fight and give me the courage to fight them as a child of GOD. Father I love you, JESUS I love you, Holy Spirit I love you. Father place my helmet on me and give me the Sword of the Spirit and bless my battles and my talents for you. Give me courage to fight Satan and kick him in the face. Help me to vanquish as many of his demons as I can. Father, allow me to show others about you and tell them the Good News that Paul was talking about. Use me. See you in the clouds…